The Eighty-Twenty Solution

Just read Ted's post on being a father, responding to Chris Winters. In my case, I was just ready to have kids. Ted and I have a similar background - I was the youngest of 4 and the youngest of all my cousins. All my siblings and cousins are boys too; so Elaina when was born 10 days before my 35th birthday, I had a real challenge. Elaina has been a ton of work, she's a high-maintenance little girl; being born a month early didn't help. I probably haven't helped, Karyn is constantly telling me that I don't have to jump whenever she makes a peep.

I've given up a few things, but not nearly as much as Karyn has: her career, her social life, the usual. I try to do my share of the parenting, and I think I do OK with that, but Matt is right, if you want to keep up a hobby like coding, you lose either sleep or time with your wife. It's all about finding balance. And I like Ted's point about technology: all the stuff you're working on today will be gone in 30 years, but God willing, your children will still be here. So I don't feel bad about letting technology take a back seat to family.

The bottom line is this: I absolutely can't imagine life without Elaina. It's funny, before I met my wife, I thought I knew what love was. Then I got married, and I thought I knew. Then Elaina was born, and at that instant, I really knew.